Same Old Moon, Geraldine Aron

• Prologue
• 1980s
• BRENDA (cheerfully). 'Brenda Barnes, aged nine, Rosary Convent, Galway, Ireland, Europe, Earth, the World, the Universe...' (She smiles, pages through the book, then stops at an essay)
• 'Dorothy,' he said, 'I might as well have stayed where I was, because no matter how far I rowed in the boat, I could not get away from the same old moon.'
• Act I, Scene 1
• 1980s. The Homecoming Scene. The living room and bedroom of a small, cramped flat in London.
• PEACE. Why doesn't she come in summer so? What's going on that she has to come to London now, and it nearly Christmas. And without the husband. And why does she have to arrive at this hour?
• BRIDIE. Don't agitate me, Peace. Cheer yourself up now and get changed. Look at the cut of us and Brenda about to walk in.
• (To the audience) She resents it when my daughter comes home, for fear she won't be Queen of the Heap around here. I don't know why I put up with her. I'd him in there (she indicates DESMOND) bossing me around for donkey's years and now she's taken over. And talk about touchy! The least little thing sets her off. Just like a child.
• PEACE. When you've finished talking to yourself, your daughter's on the doorstep.
• PEACE. Well, I'm glad you think so, because neither of us is at all well. Your mother is in constant discomfort from rheumatism and I've terrible pains in my gums since the cold weather started. We never get out except to Mass, or when there's nothing in the house to eat. We're like prisoners here, day after day. We might as well be dead. That's how well we are.
• PEACE (calling after her). It is common. Sure every Tom, Dick and Harry round here has a tea trolley. She didn't mention it because she doesn't like it. Last time she was here she didn't even notice the new bedspread.
• BRIDIE. Black tea. Out of the blue. You remind me of your father, pretending to like his meat underdone.
• BRENDA. I'm sorry. But she's terribly busy and she said today. We have much to discuss. I sent her the final draft of a new play about a month ago. She's a marvellous agent--there's a good chance she's sold it.
• BRIDIE. But there's no comparison. She makes everything up. You're inclined to put members of your family into your plays. Victoria Wood makes everything up.
• BRIDIE. It would be different if you wrote something with a proper story to it. A comedy. Victoria Wood writes funny stuff and she won an award. People don't want to be depressed.
• BRENDA (angrily taking back her clippings) Not remotely interested, are you? If they were Victoria bloody Wood's reviews you'd have them framed.
• BRIDIE. As you well know, your aunt's back goes out when she gets emotional. Are you ready, Peace?
• DESMOND reacts scornfully; he is bored by attempts at peace-keeping
• BRENDA (shouting). For God's sake Mum, he's been dead five years. We can shout as much as we like. He's dead. And who cares!
• DESMOND reacts with indignation
• BRIDIE. That's lovely talk from a daughter about her father, God rest his soul.
• Act I, Scene 2
• 1941. The Pub Scene. A small Dublin bar
• DESMOND. A bloody girl! Wouldn't you think she did it to spite me? Jaysus, you'd swear she did.
• DESMOND. What great fella had nothing but daughters?
• Act I, Scene 3
• 1950. The Courtroom Scene. The bedroom of the Barnes' house in Dublin. Late at night
• DESMOND. Now: the plaintiff has told the court that on the evening of March the sixth he purchased a box of Black Metal chocolates. On retiring to bed the same evening, opened the box and selected and ate a Strawberry Cup, guided by the illustration so thoughtfully provided by the manufacturer. Exhibit One. (He holds up the flavour guide) Are ye familiar with Exhibit One?
• BRIDIE. She's asleep on her feet, the poor child. For pity's sake let me tuck her in. Can't you have a whatchamacallit: an adjournment?
• (While thumping) How many times have I warned you about smoking in bed!
• DESMOND. That ungrateful brat. Wasn't I right not to like her?
• DESMOND (to BIRDIE). I'm going to England, on my own, till I get things organized. And she's going to Galway first thing tomorrow morning. First thing.
• BRENDA stomps over to the chocolate box, retrieves the chocolate and pops it into her mouth. She crunches it noisily and defiantly but after a while her face crumples and she begins to cry silently.
• We hear the sound of a steam train's whistle
• Act I, Scene 4
• 1950. The Convent Scene. The office of MOTHER SUPERIOR, a Dominican nun
• MOTHER SUPERIOR. Sister Francesca tells me you've been thinking dirty thoughts and making remarks that would offend the Sweet Virgin Mary, Mother of Baby Jesus our Savior.
• The doughnut represents the entrance of the female reproductive system, situated down below and called The Vagina.
• MOTHER SUPERIOR. So now you have a complete understanding of how Our Lord in his wisdom designed our bodies for procreation within the blessed bounds of matrimony?
• Act I, Scene 5
• 1951. The BELLA Scene. A bedroom in GRANNY CLEARY'S house in Galway
• PEACE (fighting for BRENDA'S attention) ...and men aren't a bit hygienic. You'll never see a man bothering to wash his hands when he's been to visit the toilet. No, I'm not bothering. Thank God I had brothers so I found out what men are like. Big goms expecting to be waited on hand and foot. No thanks.
• BELLA. Why did she marry such a yoke, so? Not bad in the looks department, but I hear he's a fella that does nothing but snooze between jars. Nothing personal Brenda, but they say your Dad's run off to London and your Mam's gone searching for him, and you dumped here while they're off gallivanting!
• BELLA (giving a cheeky laugh). His Guardian Angel will be wore out so, because his nibs and I have another date this evening. That's where I'm going now and I twenty minutes late on purpose!
• BELLA (pulling on a headscarf). I'm going down to church, Mrs Cleary, to make a Novena.
• GRANNY (screeching). Get your hands off your body this minute! Is it a Jezebel we have in this house? Is it? Is it? I'll brain you so I will, I'll brain you.
• Act I, Scene 6
• 1953. The CAFE DAPHNE Scene
• CAFE DAPHNE (heading for the exit). No. (BRENDA is disappointed. CAFE DAPHNE turns back, all smiles) I didn't like it--I loved it, so I did. When the horse started dying before he had the chance to enjoy the bit of sugar, I cried my eyes out. And the snow falling. And the bell tolling. Sure the gloom of it would make a rock weep. Haven't I always told you you're a born writer, Brenda Barnes.
• CAFE DAPHNE. Sweet Saint Jude! What's this!
• CAFE DAPHNE. Don't sweet talk me, you deceitful little scut. And we unofficially engaged.
• CAFE DAPHNE (very coldly). What do you mean by enticing my fella like that, Brenda Barnes?You've always been too forward. You're like the rest of the Clearys, going around thinking your a cut above. Well, I don't want to see you hanging around here ever again. (She snatches the flower from BRENDA)
• Act I, Scene 7
• 1953. The Postman Scene. The kitchen of GRANNY CLEAR'S Galway House
• PEACE. And look as tarty as you, is it? You're a disgrace, going round half dressed, and it broad daylight.
• PEACE. Arra, leave her alone, and she dying for her letter from her mother.
• BRENDA (shyly). To... to His Holiness Pope Pius.
• GRANNY has been reading the letter. She suddenly shrieks and drops it as if it's on fire. She grasps BRENDA'S ear and pulls her to a kneeling position
• MICHAEL. ... 'Dear Brenda. His Holiness thanks you for your letter and has asked me to convey the following in respect to your five intentions. One: the matter of being dumped in Galway while your parents are off galli-a-vanting: This period of separation will strengthen the bonds of love between you. Patience is a great virtue.'
• MICHAEL. 'Two: The matter of Bella Rafferty's seduction of the young man preparing for the priesthood: This should be referred at once to your parish priest...'
• MICHAEL. 'Three: The matter of your Grandmother's lack of personal hygiene. His Holiness will certainly not overlook this matter in his prayers, but the fact that many elder-elly people prefer not to bathe daily must be taken into consideration...
• MICHAEL. 'Four: The matter of your Aunt Peace's thick glasses. God in his wisdom has seen fit to endow her with poor eyesight, but this does not mean that he intended her to lead a lonely life. Many married Catholics wear glasses.
• MICHAEL. 'Five': The matter of the three-speed black and gold junior bicycle for Christmas: His Holiness cannot concern himself with requests for world dilly goods of this kind, but advises that personal prayer makes all things possible. The enclosed medallion--
• BRENDA (very excited). My Mammy and Daddy have sent for me! Here's the ticket and all. I'm going to England at the end of the term. And I've a baby brother (She reads)
• Act I, Scene 8
• 1953. The Bicycle Scene. A street in Galway
• KEVIN (looking at her admiringly). Did you... did you ever get a kiss from a fella, Brenda?
• BRENDA (stopping her skipping). Unless you give me a ride on your bike.
• KEVIN (as if entranced). 'Tis chipped and bent. So 'tis no use to me now. I don't want it if 'tis chipped and bent.
• KEVIN (with immense gloom). 'Tis safe as a dead sailor now, in its grave at the bottom of the canal.
• BRENDA (very distressed). You're an ejit Kevin Cleary! You're like everyone else around here. You're all touched. Mental! The way a person wouldn't know where they are with you. Well, I'm different entirely. That's why I don't fit in, and I'm glad I don't. I'm going and I'm never coming back. Never! So you can throw yourself in the canal for all I care!
• Act II, Scene 1
• 1953. The Workhouse Scene. Coronation Year in London
• DESMOND (wheedling). A couple of weeks. An extension of a couple of weeks. I've always been a good tenant.
• DESMOND (looking at BRENDA). The minute she turned up everything went wrong. I'd my wife, and my boy, and myself. Time for a bit of peace and prosperity, I thought. And then her nibs arrived.
• BRENDA. I wish I'd never been born!
• MRS BROWN. Simply that you are quite without funds, quite destitute.
• Act II, Scene 2
• 1953. The Stilts Scene. The Rest Centre's bleak playground, decorated with Coronation bunting
• BRENDA. We've got a right to come here. You've got our six counties, in Ulster.
• DI (shrieking). 'Ere! It's gonna pour down! Let's go indoors.
• Act II, Scene 3
• 1956. The Racing Scene. On open ground in Epsom Racecourse
• BRENDA. Sorry Daddy. And thanks again for bringing me to the races, Dad. It's the best birthday present I've ever had. The best ever. Thanks again, Daddy.
• DESMOND (lowering his glasses). How about: 'She should've stayed home where a daughter's place is'. Now will you hush up till I hear the odds. How can a person hear your man doing his commentary with you gabbing away.
• DESMOND. I'll decide what's good and bad for me. Your mother never stops dictating to me what I eat and how I'll eat it.
• BRENDA (louder and louder). Let it be buttered. Let it be buttered. LET IT BE BUTTERED. LET IT BE BUTTERED.
• BRENDA, her face radiant, pauses to look downstage for a moment, then follows
• Act II, Scene 4
• 1962. The Madison Scene. A small bedsit in London
• BRENDA, aged twenty, enters breathlessly. She wears shoes like DI and carries a small brown paper bag. She now sounds like a seasoned Londoner, but is much better spoken than her friend DI.
• BRENDA. As it happens, he's not so bad lately. You know he's sort of lived apart from us and spent most of his time in bed? Well now he's sick so he really has to be in bed.
• BRENDA (while stepping and pecking). No, Di. There must be more to life than working in an office all week and dancing at St Anne's Hall on Saturdays.
• BRENDA (dreamily). I love the way he speaks. I bet he's from abroad. He has the air of a foreign place on him.
• BRENDA. Don't be daft. Anyway, there's a lot I'm gonna do before I get married.
• The courtship of BRENDA and MARK takes place within the choreography of The Madison
• Act II, Scene 5
• 1962. The Engagement Scene. The London flat
• BRENDA. What do you mean, 'what's wrong'. I bring you a bunch of flowers and you say 'what's wrong'. Honestly Mum--I don't know why you're always so suspicious!
• BRENDA. Mum... have you ever thought of visiting a place so warm and sunny that you wouldn't even need a scarf?
• BRENDA (airily). There's no snag--unless it would bother you that he's not actually a Catholic, as such.
• BRIDIE (incredulously). Proposed! Then you're serious about this, when I, your mother, haven't even met him!
• BRENDA. He's Jewish, Mum.
• BRIDIE. That's what you think. I can't believe you planned this all this behind my back. You sly little rip. Over my dead body!
• BRENDA (whirling around romantically). I'm twenty-one! You can't stop me! I love him, I love him, I love him.
• Act II, Scene 6
• 1962. Outward Bound. On board a ship. A starry sky with a beautiful new moon
• Act II, Scene 7
• 1965. The Peaceful Scene. DESMOND'S room in the London flat
• DESMOND (still reading). Meaning?
• DESMOND. I'm perfectly happy where I am. Subject closed.
• DESMOND. Look, I'll meet you half-way. Make the tea and toast and we'll have it in here.
• Act II, Scene 8
• 1968. Homeward Bound. On board a ship as Scene 6
• Act II, Scene 9
• 1968. MARK'S Scene. DESMOND'S room in the London flat
• BRENDA. This is my husband Mark. Mark, this is my dad.
• DESMOND (ominously). Are you deaf?
• MARK (winking at BRENDA). I wouldn't mind a snack, darling...
• Mr Barnes, may I just say again how sorry I am that we couldn't be with you and Mrs Barnes when Ted died.
• DESMOND. Don't argue with me, whatever-your-name is. I bloody well know what I'm talking about. They're running the whole of Britain, as far as I'm concerned. Banks, shops, industry, the lot!
• DESMOND (totally enraged). Listen you: You're not wanted here with your Mazookas and Ringlets! I was going to be nice to you out of pity for the way that one got you to marry her--but I can see now that you deserve each other.
• Act II, Scene 10
• 1976. The Hospital Scene. DESMOND, aged sixty-six, is in the bed, as last scene
• BRENDA. Of course not. I come every few years as you well know.
• DESMOND. ... It's bloody awful in this place, full of foreigners in turbans.
• DESMOND. Aren't you very chatty, all of a sudden? And nothing except a few postcards for years. (He waggles his head scornfully) 'Bali' Big Deal.
• BRENDA (determinedly cheerful). I'm getting quite a reputation as a writer, Dad. Mostly short stories and articles. I think you'd be surprised.
• DESMOND (irritably). If I didn't like you it was because you were too much like myself.
• DESMOND (angrily). The way you always think there's something better over the next bloody hill. Rhodeeesia! Austraaalia! It's the same old moon shining down wherever you are.
• DESMOND. ... 'Twas dressing gowns that ruined things between me and your mother.
• Act II, Scene 11
• 1980s. The Last Scene. The flat. Late afternoon
• BIRDIE (to the audience). ... No. I can't say I want him back, but he was useful for keeping certain people under control.
• BRENDA (very carefully). She said she didn't feel she could represent me after all.
• BRENDA. Mum, it's all over between me and Mark. He's living with somebody else now. So I'd like to stay here for a while.
• BRIDIE. ... I've got great news for you: Brenda's home for good.
• BRENDA. With milk, please.
• BRIDIE. Wait! ... Now: an early Christmas from myself and your Aunty Peace.
• PEACE. I was just thinking that we'll get no Christmas card from Australia this year.
• PEACE. They'll mean Brenda as well, God bless her. From now on, all at eight-oh-four will include Brenda.
• BRIDIE. This is my home and as along as you live in my home you'll go to Mass!
• She stands, slips off the gown, rolls it into a ball. The end music begins to build as she turns to the approving ghost of DESMOND.