The Tain

• How the Tain Bo Cuailnge was found again
• Muirgen sat at Fergus's grave, chanted a poem, and the ghost of Fergus appears and recites the Tain.
• Alternate theory: Senchan was told the story after fasting.
• How Conchobor was Begotten, and how he took Kingship of Ulster
• The druid Cathbad is passing by, and Nes asks him what hour it is. He tells her time for getting a king, so Nes conceives a son with Cathbad: Conchobor.
• Fergus, the king of Ulster, desires Nes to be his wife. She consents if he will make Conchobor king for a year. The exchange is made.
• While king, with the help of his cunning mother, Conchobor wins the support of the Ulster warriors, so that when the year ends, Ulster makes Conchobor the permanent king.
• Conchobor is beloved. He sleeps with each new bride on the night of her wedding.
• The Pangs of Ulster
• Macha warns her husband Crunniuc not to be boastful as he leaves for the fair. At the fair, he boasts that is wife is faster than the king;s chariot.
• Macha is called for, to race the chariot, or her husband will be killed. She pleads that she is unable in her condition, being pregnant, but it falls on deaf ears. She races the chariot. At the end of the race, she delivers twins.
• In her agony during birth, she curses all the men who are present will suffer the same pangs for five days and four night.
• This curse affected the men of Ulster for nine generations. The only people spared were the women, the children, and Cuchulainn.
• Exile of the sons of Uisliu
• The men of Ulster are drinking at Fedlimid's home, when they are disturbed by a scream from his wife's unborn child.
• Fedlimid asks his wife what has caused this, but she does not know, so she asks Cathabad.
• Cathabad prophecizes that the unborn child is a girl, her name will be Derdria, and that she will bring great evil.
• The gilr is born, and Cathabad continues with the prophecy:
• Three sons of Uisliu will be exiled, a blow in Emain, ruin by a son of Roech, a deadly wound of Fiachna (Conchobor's son), Gerre felled (Iladan's son), Eogan struck, anger at Ulster's king -- "a famous tale."
• Hearing this, they propose to kill the child, but Conchobor forbids it, instead insisting the girl is raised for him.
• Derdriu grows to be the loveliest woman in Ireland, kept apart so no man would see her, until she was ready for Conchobor's bed.
• Derdriu tells her foster father what she wants in a man, and he tells her she just described Noisiu (Uisliu's son).
• Derdriu tracks down Noisiu, but he resists her, citing the prophecy.
• Derdriu is not deterred. She binds him. He cries out for help.
• Men come to his aid, including Noisiu's two brothers. They decide to leave with a host of 150 men and 150 women, among them, Derdriu.
• Conchobar tries to ambush them. They are pursued until they cross the sea to Alba.
• The king of Alba lets them live there, and they try to hide Derdriu, but to no avail. One day she is spotted by a steward, who tells the king there is no better woman fit for him. He recommends killing Noisiu so he can sleep with her.
• The king turns down this recommendation, but instructs the steward to go inquire for him each day in secret.
• Derdriu tells Noisiu about each daily proposal.
• Finally, the king decides to have the sons of Uisliu killed, but Derdriu wanrs them and they escape to an island.
• Hearing this, Conchobor sens for the sons of Uisliu, promising them safety. He feels bad their misfortune is caused by a woman.
• The agree to this asylum if Fergus comes as a pledge for their safety.
• Conchobor creates a cunning plan to stop Fergus from progressing, so the sons of Uisliu continue one with only Fischa (Fergus's son).
• They meet Eogan, king of Fernmag, at Emain. Eogan wishes to reconcile with Conchobor, and to accomplish this, he will kill the sons of Uislia.
• Eogan drives his spear into Noisiu's back. Fiasha tries to protect him, but ends up getting speared along with Noishu. Everyone was slaugtered.
• Derdriu is taken and brought to Conchobor with her hands bound.
• Relatives of Conchobor are killed in retaliation by Dubthach and Fergus. They go to Connacht, to Ailill and Medb, and continue retaliation for 16 years.
• Derdriu is kept by Conchobor for a year. She never smiles and carries out a hunger strike.
• Conchobor asks Derdrui who shate hates most. She replies him and Eogan. So Conchobor decides to give her to Eogan.
• Derdria kills herself by violently banging her head into a stone.
• How Cuchulainn was Begotten
• A flock of birds are eating the plants, so the men of Ulster got in their chariots to chase them away. Conchobor and his sister Deichtine ride together. They reach Brug and rest for the night at the only home. In the home, the wife gives birth, but when they awake, the home and the couple have vanished. Deichtine will foster the abandoned child, but he dies shortly thereafter.
• In her despair from losing the child, Deichtine asks for a drink. In the drink, there is a creature, and she swallows it unbeknownst. Ingesting this creature results in Deichtine having a dream. In the dream, a man who identifies himself as Lug mac Ethnenn tells her that he brought her to Brug to sleep with her so she will bear his child, who will be named Setanta. Sure enough, Deichtine is now pregant. People mistakenly think Conchobor might be the father.
• Conchobor gives Deichtine in marriage to Sualdam mac Roich. Deichtine has a miscarriage, but conceives again, this time with Sualdam. They name their son Setanta.
• There is a debate on who should raise Setanta. Conchobor suggests his other sister Finnchaem. Others argue they would be better for the job: Sencha, Blai Briuga, Fergus, Amargin. They leave the decision to judge Morann to decide. He chooses Conchobor, with all the other candidates to provide training in their areas of expertise:
• In this manner, he will be formed by all -- chariot-fighter, prince, and sage. He will be cherished by many, this boy, and he will settle your trials of honour and win your ford-fights and all your battles.
• Cuchulainn's Courtship of Emer, and his training in arms
• After a spear throwing contest in which Cuchulainn stole the show, and every woman's heart, the men decide they must find him a wife for two reasons: (1) if he has a wife he is less likely to steal their wives and daughters, and (2) it would be a shame if he did not have a son, as Cuchulainn is the only one capable of producing a son as good as him
• Unsuccessful in their efforts, Cuchulainn seeks a woman for himself, Emer from the Gardens of Lug.
• He sees her breasts and outwardly lusts for her.
• But Emer says no one can have her unless he completes a long list of unimaginable feats:
• He must kill 100 men at every ford.
• He must salmon-leap while carrying twice his weight in gold. He must strike down 3 groups of 9 men with a single stroke.
• He must go sleepless from summer until spring.
• Cuchulainn says, "Bet!"
• But Emer's father, Forgall Monach (the cunning), sees that his daughter is falling in love, so he devises a plan to lure Cuchulainn away to his death. Forgall Monach believes if his daughter does marry Cuchulainn, Cuchulainn's wildness and ferocity will lead to his (Forgall Monach) death.
• Forgall Monach disguises himself as a Gaul and goes to Conchobor, flattering him with tributes, and suggesting he send Cuchulainn to Domhall Mildemail, to train with Scathach (the Shadowy One), a warrior woman. Cuchulainn leaves immediately.
• Cuchulainn trains with Domnall, but then says he must continue on to train with Scathach. To get there, he must cross a bridge, and after three failed attempts, crosses with his salmon-leap.
• Learning of his arrival, Scathach sends her daughter Uathach to meet him and find out who he is. She falls for him. Scathach tells her daughter to go for it if she wants.
• Uathach disguises herself as a servant and Cuchulainn pounces on her. He hurts her finger and she cries out. Cochar Cruibne, one of Scathach's best warriors, confronts Cuchulainn. He easily repels his attacks and beheads him. Scathach mourns his death, and Cuchulainn offers to make amends by fulfilling all of Cochar's duties.
• Cuchulainn spends three days with Uathach, and she gives Cuchulainn advice. He must go to Scathach and make her promise him three things: thoroughness in his training, a dowry for his marriage, and tidings for his future -- for Scathach was also a prophetess.
• Cuchulainn takes this advice and makes Scathach make these three promises at swordpoint. Scathach makes the promise, and Cuchulainn lives with Uathach and commences his training with Scathach.
• While Cuchulainn is away, Forgall Monach promises his daughter to Lugaid. When Emer meets Lugaid, she tells him that she is promised to Cuchulainn, and Lugaid doesn't want that smoke.
• Scathach is at war with another woman, Aife, and to keep Cuchulainn from the battle (for his safety), she gives him a sleeping draught and ties him up.
• The draught is ineffective against Cuchulainn. Normally it would last 24 hours, but for a man like Cuchulainn, it only lasts an hour. Cuchulainn joins the battle and saves the day.
• Cuchulainn and Alfe fight in single combat. Alfe has the upper hand, but Cuchulainn uses a cunning trick saying, "look, your chairott has fallen into the vallye" and when she looks, Cuchulainn attacks and grabs her by the breasts. At swordpoint, Cuchulainn makes her promise three things as well: hostages for Scathach, and never attach her again; your company tonight at your own fort; and bear me a son.
• Alfe grants the wishes, and they have a son.
• Cuchulainn instructs Alfe to send their son to Ireland when he turns 7. He will be named Connla, but he cannot tell anyone his name, nor yield to anyone or refuse anyone combat.
• His training complete, Cuchulainn will head back to his country. But before he leaves, Scathach chants him his future:
• I will not add another year / nor tell more of your career / full of triumph and women's love / what matter how short. / I salute you.
• Cuchulainn returns and seeks out Emer, but she is guarded. It takes an entire year to reach her. He slays 309 men, makes a gigantic salmon leap, dealt 3 strikes to 3 groups of 9 men, killing 8 in each group, and only leaving Emer's 3 brothers: Scibor, Ibor, and Cat. Forgall killed himself. Cuchulainn grabs Emer and her foster-sister, with their weight in gold and silver, and leaps while carrying them. After delivering Emer away, he returns to every ford killing 100 men, completing all that Emer had asked for.
• Finally ready to marry Emer, there is now a point of contention, as Conchobor always sleeps with new brides on their wedding night, but Cuchulainn will not stand for this. A solution is proposed: Emer will sleep with Conchobor, but Cathbad and Fergus will sleep there as well, to protect Cuchulainn's honour. Everything is agreed to and Cuchulainn and Emer are never separated again.
• The Death of Aife's One Son
• The Quarrel of Two Pig-Keepers, and how the bulls were begotten